Your State Of Mind Leaves Time Behind

I’m scared I will vanish
And it’s no that no one would care
It’s that no one would try to get me back
And it’s not that I’ll be dead
It’s that I’ll fade to black

I’m scared that I will cry
And it’s not that no one would care
It’s that no one would hold me
And it’s not that it’s unfair
It’s what nobody told me

I’m scared that I’m worthless
And it’s not that no one cares
It’s what they’ve hidden
And it’s not that my lifes a secret
It’s that happiness is forbidden

I’m scared that I will cut
And it’s not that no one would care
It’s that they’d see me differently
And it’s not that they’d destroy me
It’s the incessant ruthless judgment

I’m scared I will scream
And it’s not that no one would care
It’s that no one would hear
And it’s not that they’ll yell back
It’s that they’ll look at me with fear

I’m scared that I have had enough
And it’s not that no one cares
It’s that no one sees
And it’s non that no one would stop me
It’s that no one would let me be.

What color do the monsters bleed
That live inside your head
Black is the blood that monsters bleed
And never ever red
Don’t kill yourself to kill them off
Live miserable instead
Smiled while you cried
Giggled while you bled
Black is the blood of monsters
After all of them are dead

He never looked down to see
That in his arms she was happy
He never kissed her burning lips
He never felt her hopeful grips
And never held her longing hands
They spoke of everything; Love to Bands
He held her close and that was good
But life rarely happens like it should
So all the while he held her close
Never noticed her emotional comatose
With all her heart she loved him so
He pulled away and started to go
She grabbed his wrist
And turned him back around
To find the true love and hope he had hidden behind
Those walls of his and their friendship
He finally kissed her just to end it
This of course was all a dream
This boy will never notice her eye’s loving gleam

He’s lost
He’s lost
And she’s the cost
The cost that he must pay
He says he loves and cares for her
He suffers more each day
His smile is the debt for her
He’s stuck alone in pain
He’s lost
He’s lost
And she’s the cost
He wants to keep her sane
He can’t go on protecting her
It’s really such a shame
He’s lost
He’s lost
And she’s the cost
He slowly disappeared
She sat in wait at home for him
But he is damned just like she feared. 

A rock on her chest
A life of regrets
The water it creeps and it creeps 
The sun went down
On her life in this town
The water it creeps and it creeps 
Its color a murky dark red
It’s going to cover her head
The water it creeps and it creeps   
Her hair floats by in strands
There are cuts below her hands
The water it creeps and it creeps 
The liquid filled her lungs
She sand her last sad songs
The water it creeps and it creeps 
Puddles all over the floor
Some slips right under the door
The water it creeps and it creeps   
And the story behind her locked door
Is a sad one and over for sure
Because the water it creeps and it creeps 

Cutters, Cutters
Angry red marks
Swipe it again as the bleeding starts
Blurred vision
Slurred precision
Smile with each skin division

Cutters, Cutters
Scabs and scars
Sky of red and white for stars
Dreamless nights
Awful sights
Dig in deeper so your soul takes flight

Cutters, Cutters
Scissors and blades
Those marks never leave you
All sizes, all shades
Their lies, their lies
Their one way eyes
And a sweatshirt as a simple unknown disguise

Cutters, Cutters
Cloaked in sorrow
Fake a smile, don’t wake up tomorrow
Life on the run, borrow a gun
Cutters, Cutters
Cutters all gone 

Something tells her she is done
She goes and grabs a gun
The loss of a fight 
The metal held tight
In the end
Her depression
It won
A simple miraculous treat
Hurry up and don ‘t get cold feet
Pull the trigger real fast
Don’t feel the blast
She’s a bullet closer to death
Russian Roulette
Give your life
No more debt
She’s left guessing when she will be done
The next shot it comes
That blows out her gums
And the blood swells up in her lungs
She was drowning before
Now she’s drowning some more
In the end
Her depression
It won 

Remember to forget
At night you toss and fret
Leave the door open a crack
Don’t let your thoughts and hate come back
Your life, it ran away
carry on each day
Inside you scream and cry
You really don’t know why 
“Take my pain and steal my brain”
You don’t ever want to think again
Feelings in a pen
you let the twisted pain come out
From a blade you bleed your guilt and doubt
Smile as a sweet illusion
You, my dear, are at your conclusion
All the choices to regret
Remember to forget

The final seconds of a fire’s flame
The last seconds tat you still remain here
You see a light you see a final spark
In that second when it all goes dark
You wonder how you wonder why and when
You wonder what it really means to them
The last time they look you in the eye
You curl up and you want to die
The smoke rises, it swirls, it grows
That last moment and their eyes still don’t close
Holding their hand but they don’t hold back
You put in effort and it still fades to black
Drowned in wax and drowned in sorrow too
It’s all over they are cold and dark blue
The final seconds of a fire’s flame
The last seconds tat you still remain here
You see a light you see a final spark
In that second when it all goes dark

Into monsters turn the innocent
All their actions are inconcequent
Keep the weak unknowingly confident
And let the strong fall down

Into cripples turn the hopeless
All this breathing makes them breathless
Keep them moving until they’re motionless
And let them wear a frown

Into tears turns a smile
All their lives lived in denial
Keep them guessing for a while
And let criminals wear a crown

Into corpses turn the living
All this time we left them writhing
Keep their heart still for one last beating 
And hold them while they drown

Into victims turns her murderers
All the blood was drained right out of her
Keep a blindfold, make this night a blur
And simply let her die